Get your Tuesday going, share one of these…
20 Brilliant Facebook Statuses:
- I’ll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities.
- My home security system is a series of paintings with the eyes cut out.
- Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
- My illusion of having the Force is crushed the minute the remote is slightly out of reach.
- Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
- I see 2007 and think “oh 3 years ago” and then it hits me that it was 7 f**king years ago
- Buy me food and laugh at my jokes and I’ll love you forever.
- You know what tastes better than one taco? Two tacos!
- When people ask me Plz because it’s shorter than please, I tell them no because it’s shorter than yes.
- Have you ever loved someone so much deep in your heart, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping.
- As long as you have hope, anything can happen.
- People who remote lock their car 2 times seriously have trust issues. Personally, I do it 3 times but that’s just my OCD.
- Sometimes I feel as though my life should be documented for future generations.
- Every time I see a math problem it looks like this: If you have 10 ice cubes and 11 apples how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Answer: Purple because monkeys don’t wear hats.
- The true test of any loving relationship is having two phones and only one functioning charger.
- My passive aggressive way of telling my roommate to stop eating my food is putting up “missing” posters around our apartment with a picture of my sandwich on it.
- You’d think the self checkout lanes would have more mirrors.
- I want to meet the guy at Hewlett Packard who decides how many minutes of strange noises their printers make before printing 1 page.
- I want to put my headphones in and disappear for a few weeks.
- Inspirational status of the day: Don’t be a douche.
You know you live in the ghetto when…
LOL! That’s one “hip” Ice Cream man.