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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
FACEBOOK: the only place where i can be married to my best friend, & have more than 20 siblings.
- That awkward moment when you catch someone picking their nose..
Haters are like crickets. Crickets make a lot of noise, you hear’em, but u can’t see them. When you walk right by them, they’re quiet.
Sitting in the theater, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.
- Occasionally, I like to take a look through my old status updates and smile smugly at my sparkling wit.
Life’s cruel when you think it is, life’s happy when you feel it is, and life’s best when you enjoy it as it is. (114+Likes in 12minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
- I often wonder how things worked out for that guy who grabbed the bull by the horns.
- When I lose: “who cares? it`s only a game.”
When I win: “HAHA! IN YOUR FACE!”
- I hate when people don’t watch where I’m going when I’m walking and texting.
- When we married, she treated me like a God. As time went by, the letters got reversed.
Sorting out your Facebook friends list? Change the date of your birthday and anyone who wishes you happy birthday, delete!
- That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink.
I hate cliches. They’re a dime a dozen.
Yawning is your body’s way of saying 20% of battery remaining. (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
- I’m happiest when I’m wasting time and money. Time to run for congress.
Just an adorable tiny piglet, that’s all:
The Incredible Mr. Seal Man…
That brings a whole new meaning to I am the Walrus! Post that on your Facebook wall to get tons of LIKEs.
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