Make your weekend last, share these…
20 Status Updates about the Weekend:
- I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
- Sometimes I’ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I’ll be like, “oh no, that can’t be right.”
- Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a bit then give up and go look for food.
- Dudes get one chest or arm tattoo and suddenly forget to wear shirts.
- My favorite iOS7 feature is how it distracts me from the fact that I’m wasting my life poking a glass screen.
- Prank idea: pay a homeless man to run up to someone at an outdoor drinking fountain and yell “Get away from my bidet!”.
- Never look back. If Cinderella went back to pick up her shoe, she wouldn’t have become a princess.
- I bought a Tempurpedic mattress just so that I’d have an excuse to go to sleep with a giant glass of wine every night.
- Girl’s status* “Bored” – 86 likes – 27 comments *My status* “Just got accepted into Harvard! – 0 likes – 1 comment from Mom: “nerd”
- Life is like a cut, it’s the healing that takes the longest.
- Toilets don’t hug back.
- is not for women who are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant.
- Yes I look at the accident after I’ve waited in traffic to pass it, it’s my turn.
- Procrastination? No. I save homework till the last minute, because I’ll be older and therefore wiser.
- You can’t choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls.
- Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = a baby
- I like using big words to sounds smart: utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
- My favorite text message: “I’ll be there in 5 minutes…if not, read this again.”
- A foolish man will tell a woman to shut up. A wise man will tell a woman she is beautiful with her lips closed.
- I’m on a new diet called “I have $10 till Monday”
It’s almost as if they have a video camera on all the Bananas in the world -_-
GoPro Camera + Eagle = AWESOME
Ah, so that’s what it’s like to fly! So RAD 🙂 Share if you enjoyed it.