ROFL, Facebook is False, & Funny Statuses

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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• That awkward moment when you start telling a story & you realize no one’s listening, so you slowly fade out & pretend you never said anything.  (*New* iPhone App: Funny Status 2  5★ Ratings)
• Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.
• Success stops when you do.
• There are two types of people who can tell you the truth about yourself: an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly.
• I wish there was a room where we could go and see all the stuff we have ever lost.
• Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time.
• A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do…and a woman’s gotta do what he can’t. (As seen on Funny Status Fan Page )
• If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
• Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if ever fifth caller was a winner.
• This morning I was standing in front of a mirror looking at my naked body and thinking… “I’m going to get thrown out of this Ikea pretty soon.”
• LIKE if this is your nightmare…Tries to search for your crush on Facebook. Accidentally sets his/her name as your status.
• Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
• Only true friends go straight to your refrigerator when they go to your house. (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
• That awkward moment when your parents don’t appreciate the hilarious child they have been blessed with.

The literal definition of ROFL:

Rolling on the floor laughing… Well played, sir, well played!

Rainn Wilson teaches you why Facebook is False…

LOL, Dwight! That guy is awesome. Share this hilariousness with your fellow Office fans on Facebook for instant likes and comments.