ROFL, Facebook is False, & Funny Statuses

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Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• That awkward moment when you start telling a story & you realize no one’s listening, so you slowly fade out & pretend you never said anything.  (*New* iPhone App: Funny Status 2  5★ Ratings)
• Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.
• Success stops when you do.
• There are two types of people who can tell you the truth about yourself: an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly.
• I wish there was a room where we could go and see all the stuff we have ever lost.
• Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time.
• A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do…and a woman’s gotta do what he can’t. (As seen on Funny Status Fan Page )
• If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
• Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if ever fifth caller was a winner.
• This morning I was standing in front of a mirror looking at my naked body and thinking… “I’m going to get thrown out of this Ikea pretty soon.”
• LIKE if this is your nightmare…Tries to search for your crush on Facebook. Accidentally sets his/her name as your status.
• Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
• Only true friends go straight to your refrigerator when they go to your house. (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
• That awkward moment when your parents don’t appreciate the hilarious child they have been blessed with.

The literal definition of ROFL:

Rolling on the floor laughing… Well played, sir, well played!

Rainn Wilson teaches you why Facebook is False…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpsn_GljRo4[/youtube]

LOL, Dwight! That guy is awesome. Share this hilariousness with your fellow Office fans on Facebook for instant likes and comments.