Local Facebook Comedian post these…
EPIC Status Updates for Facebook:
- My wife had auto correct long before iPhone.(From our *RECENTLY UPDATED!* ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
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There are two types of friends… Facebook Friends & Real Friends. Don’t forget which is which!
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Pain is the body’s way of reminding me that I’m a wimp.
- Unfortunately, I pretend to work. And, unfortunately they pretend to pay me.
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Just because we’re friends on Facebook, DOES NOT mean I’m going to talk to you in real life.
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You want to know who the perfect man is? Mr. Coffee
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I don’t drink to forget, I… what was I saying?
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Don’t break anyone’s heart; they only have one. Break they’re bones. They have over 200 of them.
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Sunglasses; they allow you to stare at people without being caught..
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Actually doing your homework, but leaving it at home by accident :/
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You think I’m mean? HA. If only you knew what I say in my head.
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Don’t mess with me, I will ✄ your hair while your sleeping.
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I hate people that take 30 years to text back.
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☐ Single. ☐ Taken. ☑ Helping Mario get Peach back
- Help keep America beautiful. Stay in your house today. (140+Likes in 21minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
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That awkward moment when you put a ring on your finger and can’t get it off…
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Girls ignore nice guys, Chase assholes, Then they have the nerve to complain about it..
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*Looks up definition of love* ….ERROR MESSAGE: Bullshit blocking connection, Please try again later.
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The only other thing that’s more popular than Facebook’s “Like” button is MySpace’s “Delete Account” button.
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I exercise everyday. I do 1 sit up when I get out of my bed in the morning.
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Exactly how long are my parents going to hide my acceptance letter from Hogwarts?!
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I can memorize twenty song lyrics before I can memorize one answer to a question on a test -_-
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Putting you’re offline chat on Facebook so it actually looks like you have a life and don’t sit on Facebook all day.
- I’ll betcha that Heimlich guy gets a lot of pats on the back.
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You know what’s huge in Japan? Sumo wrestlers. (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
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Oh, you hate me? That’s funny, because I never did anything wrong to you.
Can you see the upside down angry bunny?
Panda in a Rocking Chair:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3g2LszPfFA[/youtube]
How Awesome is that? Your Facebook friends will LIKE that video for sure 🙂
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