Make someones day, share one of these…
Laughable Facebook Status Updates:
- I need a caffeine IV.
- Awkward people are really sexy. They stumble, apologize, know obscure facts, and say all the wrong things. Just trying to sell myself here.
- Six more weeks of complaining about Winter until we start complaining about the heat.
- I want to act out one of the fantasy scenes from 50 shades of grey… like when she got a job right after college.
- Axe Body Spray is the smell of a bad Tinder date.
- Target employees do not have prizes for you no matter how many bullseyes you hit in the store with a paintball gun.
- Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?
- Research shows that 100% of the time when someone says “oh no she didn’t!” she most definitely did.
- How many calories are in 4 boxes of Girl Scout cookies? ..Asking for a friend.
- Smiling gives you wrinkles. Resting bitch face keeps you pretty.
- If offering people gum is cooking, then yes, I cook.
- If you’re confident enough, every zoo is a petting zoo.
- Do Me: a favor.
- That awkward moment when you see your ex on tinder and swipe right.
- Is there a scholarship for trying?
- You are hotter than Sriracha. #BeMyValentine
- I used to wonder what it was like to read people’s minds. Then I got a Facebook account and I got over it.
- I’m confident but not old dude in the gym changing room confident.
- Is there an app to delete your number out of other people’s phones yet?
- I love how Prince Charming is so dumb he doesn’t recognize Cinderella without her shoe.
That was amazing. Pls share/like if you enjoyed.
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