Rock Solid Statuses That Will Get You LIKES Everytime!

Do you enjoy being the local Facebook CELEBRITY?  Post these Witty Statuses and you’ll be golden…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • When Facebook starts showing how many times you’ve visited someone’s profile, we’re all screwed. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
  • One of those people out there with FB Privacy enabled is your therapist passing your problems off as jokes.
  • You’re really not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
  • I’m speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I was going, Officer.
  • In a car it’s illegal to not wear a seat belt. But I guess if you’re on a bus they figure death will be a sweet relief.
  • The recent $319 Million Mega Millions was won by workers at New York State’s Department of Housing and Community Renewal. On a related note….. The Department of Housing and Community Renewal is now hiring. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
  • Most women prefer sex with the lights off because they can’t bear to see a man enjoying himself.
  • There can be no rainbow without a cloud and a storm.
  • I don’t think I’ve ever been told I’m a bad listener.
  • How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One … men will screw anything. (VIA our Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
  • There should be only one World’s Greatest Dad shirt. And you should have to kill the previous owner to wear it.

Facebook Question of the Day: Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Funny Picture to Post:

How to Help Japan

Creative way to give back!

Funny Video to Post:


Bonus Funny Video: The Notorious BIG of IRAQ.

If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!