Ringtone Cat Video, FB Criminal, & Awesome Status Posts

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Awesome Status Posts:

  1. Did you know you that you don’t have to put every meal you eat on Instagram? You can just eat it.
  2. No, I would not like to meet local singles in my area.
  3. Being dead tired throughout the entire day then wide awake when I’m trying to go to sleep.
  4. Being handed a flyer is the offline version of a pop-up ad.
  5. My week is basically: Monday Monday #2 Monday #3 Monday #4 Friday Saturday Pre-Monday
  6. That awesome moment when you finally untangle your headphones and only had to curse 15 times.
  7. You can tell if a Coors Light bottle is cold if the mountains on the label are blue, and also if you just pick it up.
  8. I hope this coffee gives me the energy to look busy all day.
  9. People only call and text me when I’m trying to nap.
  10. My generation’s zombies didn’t run. They walked. Uphill. In the snow. They ate what brains they could find and they liked it.
  11. Relationships should come with an icon that shows you how much time you have left like your phone’s battery.
  12. This being an adult thing really gets in the way of me living my life.
  13. I usually don’t care what people are saying until they start whispering.
  14. Rock bottom is good solid ground, and a dead end street is just a place to turn around.
  15. It takes balls to be a man.
  16. Somethings are best unsaid but my brain to mouth filter has never worked right.
  17. Time to get out of bed. The world is not going to dominate itself.
  18. 5 bucks says I can get a subway foot long right now.
  19. Just texted “I still love you” to about 50 random phone numbers.
  20. Inside me is a skinny woman screaming to get out. I can usually shut her up with a cookie.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Funny Status Update of the Day:

Microsoft Office - Facebook Status

 

The Outlook doesn’t look promising.

Ringtone Kitty:

It’s funny because he sounds genuinely concerned for the other cat 🙂

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