Get LIKEd, post these…
Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
- I haven’t been to work in four days. I’ve almost forgotten how to play solitaire and minesweeper. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
Women speak two languages, one of which is verbal.
I’m not offended by what you say. I’m just glad that you’re stringing words into sentences now.
Smoke detectors need to be tested from time to time. So, sometimes I cook something.
Monday?! But, I wasnt even finished with Saturday yet.
My gas tank goes from zero to $30.00 in under a minute.
If you get lost, remember, you can always find up by looking directly at the sun.
- I bought a pair of running shoes today. I hope they come back.
- Thank goodness pets can’t talk, they all know too much. (109+Likes in 13minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
- Facebook – Where people go from SINGLE to IN A RELATIONSHIP to MARRIED to IT’S COMPLICATED then SINGLE in one day.
I always say; if you can’t say anything nice, we have a lot in common.
- You’re often on my mind, but don’t worry.. You’re way funnier and better looking in there.
- I hope when you get to heaven, they give you a photo album with all the pictures you’re in the background of.
- Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long? I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.
I don’t think the economy has turned around so much as it has backed over us and parked.
The Internet is the world’s greatest source of things you don’t really need.
I think my smart phone is broken…. I pressed my home button but I’m still at work. (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
Do you ever stop and think about the days before Facebook, when you would do something and actually not tell anyone?
Thousands More EPIC Status Updates…
LOL! I think we all know someone who has a car that dirty that would appreciate this one. Post on your FB wall for tons of great comments & LIKEs.
Awesome Dancing Guy:
That will get anyone’s Monday going!