Ridin’ Dirty, Awesome Dancing Guy, & Funny Statuses

Get LIKEd, post these…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • I haven’t been to work in four days. I’ve almost forgotten how to play solitaire and minesweeper. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • Women speak two languages, one of which is verbal.
  • I’m not offended by what you say. I’m just glad that you’re stringing words into sentences now.
  • Smoke detectors need to be tested from time to time. So, sometimes I cook something.
  • Monday?! But, I wasnt even finished with Saturday yet.
  • My gas tank goes from zero to $30.00 in under a minute.
  • If you get lost, remember, you can always find up by looking directly at the sun.
  • I bought a pair of running shoes today. I hope they come back.
  • Thank goodness pets can’t talk, they all know too much. (109+Likes in 13minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • Facebook – Where people go from SINGLE to IN A RELATIONSHIP to MARRIED to IT’S COMPLICATED then SINGLE in one day.
  • I always say; if you can’t say anything nice, we have a lot in common.
  • You’re often on my mind, but don’t worry.. You’re way funnier and better looking in there.
  • I hope when you get to heaven, they give you a photo album with all the pictures you’re in the background of.
  • Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long? I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.
  • I don’t think the economy has turned around so much as it has backed over us and parked.
  • The Internet is the world’s greatest source of things you don’t really need.
  • I think my smart phone is broken…. I pressed my home button but I’m still at work. (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
  • Do you ever stop and think about the days before Facebook, when you would do something and actually not tell anyone?
Thousands More EPIC Status Updates…
Ridin’ Dirty:
Ridin' Dirty
LOL! I think we all know someone who has a car that dirty that would appreciate this one. Post on your FB wall for tons of great comments & LIKEs.
Awesome Dancing Guy:
That will get anyone’s Monday going!

Want more funny status updates, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Visit our awesome Funny Status section for thousands of Facebook statuses to choose from!