Happy Monday, share one of these…
20 Quality Facebook Status Updates:
- I miss the days when homework was just… Coloring.
- I order all my food with extra gluten.
- Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don’t.
- Relationship status:
▫️In a relationship
▪️Waiting for a miracle
- Great running into you. I won’t be walking by here ever again.
- Let’s stack these 47 pillows on the bed every morning, throw them on the floor every night and repeat that everyday for no reason. — Women
- Things are finally looking up for me. This Victoria’s Secret catalog just told me this is going to be “your sexiest year ever.”
- Momma left strict instructions to knock you out.
- Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There’s liquor and you can’t hear them.
- Whiskey is the hand sanitizer for the soul.
- Don’t play dumb with me. That’s a game you can’t win.
- Hibernation should be a human thing too.
- Banning us to the couch is not as bad as you believe it is ladies. It makes us feel manly. Like we’re camping. With an angry bear close by.
- Starting to think this 30 minute documentary about the amazing Shark vacuum cleaner might be a commercial.
- That awkward moment when you’re actually telling the truth but you laugh during it, and everybody thinks you’re lying.
- If I had a crystal ball to see 5 years in the future, I would have 2020 vision.
- Broke a light bulb today.
Seven years of bad ideas?
- Me: I am so over selfies.
Him: Well, stop taking them.
Me: I didn’t mean mine; I meant everyone else’s.
- If you work hard enough and smart enough, your boss will get promoted and be someone else’s problem.
- Lying about my age is easier now that I have trouble remembering what it is.
Every Math Lesson Ever..
That’s about right. Share/like if you agree.
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