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- Facebook was the most searched term on Google last month. If you need Google to find Facebook, you shouldn’t be using the internet. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
- The phrase “I need to talk to you” has the ability to strike fear into the heart of anyone.
- Knowledge is power if you know it about the right person.
- “Back then hoes didn’t want me, now I’m hot they all on me” … how’s that working out for you now Mike “1 hit wonder” Jones???
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Credit cards are very dangerous. Every time I try to use one, someone starts chasing me with scissors.
- Didn’t “Friends With Benefits” already come out? And wasn’t it called “No Strings Attached”?
- The awkward moment when you’ve been tired for so long you start acting really weird and hyper. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 80+ LIKES in 20 minutes)
- I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well…my phone number for a start.
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The surest sign that there is intelligent life somewhere in the Universe is that it hasn’t tried to contact us.
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If tomatoes are classed as a fruit, then doesnt that mean that ketchup is technically a smoothie?
- Whenever someone posts something like, “Just went on a massive friend-deleting spree!,” I’m never quite sure whether to feel like a winner for making the cut or a loser for having friends lame enough to think the world gives a crap.
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Birthday: that special day when your loved ones give you a cake they’ve set on fire.
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Starting a sentence with “If you ask me” almost always indicates that no one asked you. (Our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
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I borrowed my wife’s GPS. All it’s doing is yelling at me to slow down.
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The Pug “Head Tilt”:
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uuqXXT7VYo[/youtube]
LOL! Post that one to get tons of comments & LIKEs on your Facebook wall!
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