Make Monday fun, share one of these…
Clever Facebook Status Posts:
- I didn’t recognize you without a filter.
- You can’t run from your problems forever. Eventually, you’ll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them
- It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
- I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making.
- I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.
- Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight…you’re drunk.
- A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.
- FACT: There’s always room for another cupcake.
- All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
- I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave.
- When four people arrive at a four-way stop at the same time, it is required that they exit their vehicles and fight to the death.
- I can’t enjoy my meal at a restaurant unless the waiter tells me “enjoy”.
- When I was younger all I wanted was a cool car bed. Now I live in my car. Dreams really can come true.
- Tip: If you block them, and don’t look at their shit, you can move on from it.
- There you are, feeling pretty good about yourself. Then you hear a recording of yourself talk.
- “Nothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.
- Dear guys, every text you get from a girl was actually composed by a minimum of three girls.
- Remember these two words. They will open up the doors in your life. Push & Pull.
- That odd feeling you get when you wake up and only have one sock on….
- There’s a very short list of things you can have in your hand while running without looking crazy.
Everyone loves a good shower scare…
That scream was priceless. Share if you enjoyed 🙂