Facebook Status Updates

Praying, Epic Shower Scare, and Clever Status Posts

Editorial Team

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Make Monday fun, share one of these…

Clever Facebook Status Posts:

I didn’t recognize you without a filter.
You can’t run from your problems forever. Eventually, you’ll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them
It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making.
I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them.
Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight…you’re drunk.
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.
FACT: There’s always room for another cupcake.
All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave.
When four people arrive at a four-way stop at the same time, it is required that they exit their vehicles and fight to the death.
I can’t enjoy my meal at a restaurant unless the waiter tells me “enjoy”.
When I was younger all I wanted was a cool car bed. Now I live in my car. Dreams really can come true.
Tip: If you block them, and don’t look at their shit, you can move on from it.
There you are, feeling pretty good about yourself. Then you hear a recording of yourself talk.
“Nothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.
Dear guys, every text you get from a girl was actually composed by a minimum of three girls.
Remember these two words. They will open up the doors in your life. Push & Pull.
That odd feeling you get when you wake up and only have one sock on….
There’s a very short list of things you can have in your hand while running without looking crazy.