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20 of the Best Status Updates for Facebook:
- 99% of relationships involve tolerating how weird the other person is.
- Never sit down in front of the computer while having breakfast because when you get up it’ll be dinner time.
- I realize most old people have to watch their budget, but can someone please tell them that nose hair trimmers are well worth the investment.
- There’s always some truth behind: Just kidding, Knowledge behind: I don’t know, Emotion behind: I don’t care & Pain behind: It’s okay.
- Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it’s strapped to the top of someone’s car.
- TRAVEL TIP: When you are alone in a hotel room with two beds, that means one bed is for eating on and one bed is for sleeping on.
- I think there’s finally enough stuff in my kitchen junk drawer to build a spaceship.
- Maybe tomorrow I’ll do that thing I said I’d do yesterday.
- I can keep a secret… It’s all the other people I tell it to who can’t.
- A good day for a bad boy is talking a good girl into a bad decision.
- Phones are smart. Cars are smart. Even water. is smart. Humans, not so smart.
- There are two types of people who really irritate me: 1. A drunk person when I’m sober. 2. A sober person when I’m drunk.
- “Do you want my honest opinion?” = “I’m about to upset you.”
- If only women knew that being happy with themselves is the most attractive quality they can ever offer.
- May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
- I don’t mean to alarm you but you know those people in your office that can’t work the fax machine? They’re driving home on the same roads.
- The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
- I really hope the guy from Microsoft can take some time out from his busy schedule to read the hundreds of error reports I send him daily.
- Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either…
- Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is play dumb.
Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers
Epic Jam Sesh:
Ah-dor-able! Plus, the Doggie-guitar and Little Tykes Kazo-board go amazingly well together. It’s a match made in heaven.
Phone is lost during X-Games and is Returned to Owner in an AWESOME fashion:
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdTi7erhjpQ[/youtube]
All lost phones should return to their owners like that… the world would be a better place if your lost phone chased you down and found you 🙂
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