Enjoy your Tuesday. Share one of these…
20 Clever Facebook Statuses:
- The first rule of Right Club is that your wife is the only member of Right Club.
- Based on my reaction to toast popping out of a toaster, I’d like to recommend you never throw me a surprise party.
- “I miss those ice-bucket challenge videos.” -nobody
- I hate when Netflix asks if I’m still watching. You really think I got my life together in the last 2 hours?
- That awkward moment when someone asks you what’s wrong and they’re the problem.
- I live by one rule: never trust a fat vegan.
- If I had to describe myself in one word it would be “doesn’t know how to follow directions.”
- “Okay” means you’re in the clear. “K” means you’re better off not coming home. Fellas, you know what I’m talking about.
- I only buy pillows that aspire to be forts.
- When you are surrounded by darkness, remember so are the stars… just kidding, go f*ck yourself. also stars explode.
- I’m looking for a girl who doesn’t have their drunk bone connected to their emotionally unstable bone.
- The self checkout line was invented by a guy who was sent to the store to buy tampons.
- I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
- Remember when saying Cool meant “that’s awesome” and not “f*ck off”?
- Disappointed that pressing the home button on my phone doesn’t instantly transport me.
- I want someone to look at me the way I look at the waiter when he brings my meal.
- Forget torture, 10 minutes of hold music and I am willing to spill all my secrets.
- Never make an arm wrestle bet with a man who has been single for longer than 6 months.
- A unicorn is just a horse at a birthday party
- If you use your iPad as a camera, you are asking for someone to come up and smack you in the face with it.
Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…
Panda Wants Hug to get down from tree..
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVywPAjtppg[/youtube]
That’s so cute! I <3 it. You can Like or Share if you want to spread the love.
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