One Liner Status Updates that will get you LIKES!

Hey there! Do you enjoy being the Funniest person on Facebook?  Good because we’re going to help you stay that way! Get tons of LIKES and COMMENTS by posting these….

Funny One Liner Statuses:

  • Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
  • Didn’t support the troops, saw a bumper sticker, now do.
  • A friend knows there’s something wrong by the way you act but a best friend can tell through just a text message.
  • If people talk behind your back, it’s because you’re ahead of them.
  • I found out it was really hot outside by actually venturing out there. WTF Facebook? You are suppossed to tell me these things first.
  • The people who vote decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything.
  • The battle between the giant soft drink manufacturers is over: Pepsi One® Coke Zero® ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • I’m going to the gym because I heard they have free weights. I wonder how many they’ll let me take.
  • Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
  • I think I missed the driver ed class on how inching forward every 5 seconds at a red light makes it turn green faster.
  • 1000 aches == 1 megahurtz
  • My money is on MySpace to take the Gold in the Downhill Competition.
  • I’m developing a hand sanitizer that only kills the 00.01% of germs that the others can’t kill. I’m going to make a fortune!
  • Can I just drop it like it’s lukewarm? It’s been a long day and I’m tired.
  • On a walk, my son saw a pay phone, asked what it was. I made him look it up on his Blackberry. (VIA our Tweeter:@FreeFunnyStuff )
  • Efff you, little sticker on produce!

Funny Picture to Post:

Silly doggie!

Funny Video to Post:


Ha! Post that one and ask your FB friends how they would react to that prank!

If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!