Oldtown funk, new relationships, and the 20 best Facebook statuses.

Make your weekend last longer, share one of these…

20 Best Facebook Status Updates:

  1. When you say “9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans” all I hear is “There is a bear out there who knows how to use matches”.
  2. I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
  3. *stays home*
    I should’ve gone out
    *goes out*
    I should’ve stayed home
  4. I like my bed more than I like most people.
  5. Every day is Treat Yo’ Self day in my life.
  6. Drunk people, children and leggings always tell the truth.
  7. That awkward moment when someone is staring at you and you don’t know why so you double/triple check everything about yourself.
  8. Take the word “basically” out of any sentence you say with the word ” basically ” in it and you’ll find out there was absolutely no need to say “basically”. Basically it’s to make you try to make you sound clever, basically.
  9. I hate when you sit in class and do absolutely nothing.. like, I could do this shit in the comfort of my own bed.
  10. I just saw a dude wearing uggs get arrested. Not sure what for, but I’m hoping it was because he was wearing uggs.
  11. The further you push me away, the more I begin to enjoy viewing you from a distance.
  12. Don’t make me use UPPERCASE.
  13. It’s not holding a grudge. It’s remembering facts. Forever.
  14. There should be an energy drink named 6 AM toddler.
  15. I am a big believer in random acts of kindness. Also random acts of karate chop to the throat.
  16. How much time did you spend on your hair before you took a selfie of your boobs?
  17. Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
  18. I want to spend the rest of my cell phone battery with you.
  19. -Beginning of relationship- 1) Don’t ever change. 2) You have to change. 3) You’ve changed. -End of relationship-
  20. When I go to someone’s house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don’t like visitors.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Group of Talented Seniors Cover “Uptown Funk” in a Spectacular Fashion:


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