Odd Chinese Unicycle, Dos Equis, & Funny Statuses

Be a Facebook superstar post these…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the fact a lot. (From our ridiculously funny: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • The first step is admitting you’re a problem.
  • All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.
  • A rumor goes in one ear and then out of many mouths.
  • Never had a mentor. Unless tormentors count.
  • If you think your dog can’t count, try putting three dog treats in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
  • When I say “Nevermind.” I really mean you should’ve listened the first time. (180+Likes in 12 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • The Internet…all of the piracy and none of the scurvy.
  • You look at them, They look at you, You quickly look somewhere else…
  • I will call you back in 5 min! (A week goes by)
  • That awkward moment when you have crunchy food in a room full of silent people.
  • Have you noticed each generation is getting ruder and shorter?
  • There’s no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous because no one wants to quit.
  • At least a stalker is there for you.
  • Anybody who thinks talk is cheap never argued with a traffic cop.
  • The only time I’ve ever had a chip on my shoulder was when I tried to dump the entire bag into my mouth at once.
  • Just because I don’t reply within 10 minutes doesn’t mean I hate you.
  • Things I learned in school: 1. How to whisper 2. How to text without looking 3. How to look like I’m thinking.
  • Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly.
  • I missed my calling. It should’ve emailed.  (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
  • If you are what you eat, I’m dead meat.

11,001+ Funny Status Updates…

Dos Equis Man on Status Updates….

Dos Equis on Facebook

LOL, I think everyone can appreciate that one 🙂 and, if you’re the older relative – please keep that in mind when you’re commenting!

Weird Chinese Unicycle:


How weird is that?!? Post that to your FB wall and watch the comments pour in.

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