Tuesday will be fun when you share….
Funny Status Update Posts:
- Tuesday, I just can’t with you right now.
- I need to hire someone who will follow me around and just knock the unhealthy food out of my hand.
- My “I hate you” face must look a lot like my “I’m loving this conversation” face.
- Congratulations on being the kind of person who corrects the grammar of others, unsolicited. You’re the Microsoft Word Paperclip.
- I’ve finally worked up the courage to tell you how I feel: I feel hungry.
- Do you ever eat a delicious meal, then save the best bits of whatever is on the plate for the “perfect last bite”?
- I just used the self checkout in Walmart without needing assistance and they made me district manager.
- I knew I should have stayed in bed today.
- Single white sock seeks same.
- If she shaves it and you ain’t gettin’ it. Someone else is…
- Not only do I believe cannabis should be legalized, it should also be forcibly administered to Congress.
- “Oh, you’re left handed?” – people who see me writing with my left hand, curious if I’m just doing it for show.
- This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.
- That awkward moment when a stranger looks at you while you are taking a selfie.
- This whole grown-up thing has been fun but I have to go now.
- The Send All function should require another person to key in a code like you would for a nuclear launch.
- I wonder what “don’t touch” is in Braille.
- The best part about living alone is that no one is there to witness your bad choices. Well, other than your cat.
- Anyone else feel that iTunes is complete sh*t?
- The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains is great news for stupid people.
Never Shave Your Beard:
Little girl is so adorable! You can literally see the moment when she realizes that’s daddy 🙂 So cute!