Make Wednesday count, share these…
20 Witty Status Ideas:
- I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
- So let me get this straight – you had a house designed and built just for you, but you didn’t put in any secret passageways?
- I was about to make a joke about Pangaea, but it kinda fell apart.
- Super glue in a non-stick pan? Lets just see who’s got the real deal product here.
- You ever miss something so bad that you wish you never had it in the first place..
- As a child, you dream of adventure, travel & success. As an adult, a lot of the time, you just hope the toilet flushes.
- The problem with diets is nachos.
- This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
- Getting coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
- Want to drive a woman crazy? Get over her.
- If at any point in the conversation you say the word “insane,” I will silently add “in the membrane.”
- Some of you have more posts in a day than I have thoughts.
- A Whoopee cushion filled with gravy adds a hilarious new dimension to a rather tiresome practical joke.
- Some people need to open their small minds instead of their big mouths.
- Apparently “I’m outta here, play on playa” is not the proper way to tell your boss you’re leaving early.
- I want an auctioneer to read my eulogy.
- I think it’s time for some of you to put down the urban dictionary and pick up a real one.
- If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically.
- Don’t try to understand girls. Girls understand girls and they hate each other.
- Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in
Ghost Hunters TV Show:
Sounds about right.
News-reporter urgently wants to make it to a basketball game… and then this happens:
Doh! Feel so bad for him 🙂 On live TV nonetheless. Share if you’d like, I’m sure he’d appreciate it.