Never Grow Up, Awkward Moment When, and Entertaining Facebook Status Updates.

Mid-week fun time, share one of these…

Entertaining Facebook Status Updates:

  1. I’m so thankful my childhood was filled with imagination and bruises from playing outside, instead of apps and how many likes you get on a picture.
  2. If you’re an astronaut and you don’t end every relationship by saying “look, I just need some space” then you’re wasting everyone’s time.
  3. Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for — in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
  4. Facebook game requests are like the Jehova’s witnesses of the internet.
  5. My life is the intersection between having too much caffeine and constantly yawning.
  6. How I feel when you complain about your boyfriend to me is how Yahoo feels when people use them to search for Google’s homepage.
  7. Never take advice from people on the Internet. Not even this.
  8. Relationships are basically an emotional game of Jenga.
  9. One time I looked up from my phone, it was horrifying! Don’t do it guys.
  10. I’ve made some pretty bad choices in life but I have to admit, having orange juice with Oreos was the worst.
  11. If u think someone (me) is cute u should tell them (me)
  12. Saw a Mime doing his gig. I reached into my purse and pretended to throw money in his hat.
  13. During exams, students look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information.
  14. My bucket list: 4 drumsticks, 2 thighs, 2 mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. Extra crispy…
  15. Everyone should believe in something. I believe I will have another beer.
  16. Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you’re doing it.
  17. At my funeral play the Super Mario original theme until my casket is lowered in the ground then play the underground music
  18. I’m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
  19. My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I’m flattered.
  20. Whenever I get a friend request Facebook should allow me free access to their wall and pics regardless of privacy settings so I can see who I’m dealing with cuz some of you f*ckers are so creepy your profile pic might as well be a white panel van.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Big Sister Doesn’t Want Her Little Brother to Grow Up…


I’ve never seen a kid act like that before. She’s right, that is one cute baby 🙂

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