Netflix, Sleep Laughing Baby, and Playful Status Updates

Make your weekend last, share these…

Top 20 Playful Facebook Status Updates:

  1. No talky before coffee.
  2. I love the point when you are so tired that everything is funny.
  3. When you hear a certain song that instantly brings you back to a certain time of your life.
  4. Math is a drama queen. It can’t seriously have that many problems.
  5. I ate gummy bears and didn’t bite off their heads or make screaming noises as they entered my mouth and I think this means I’m an adult now.
  6. Dearest Neighbors, Please do NOT call the police, it’s not domestic violence or a wild party. It’s football season, that’s just me screaming at my TV.
  7. When I’m not allowed to use my phone at work I touch my phone in my pocket like Frodo does the Precious.
  8. The dress doesn’t make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat.
  9. When I need a miracle I look into my child’s eyes and realize I’ve already created one.
  10. I always wince when someone tells me they’re going to hit the sack.
  11. I’m not anti-social, I’m selectively social. There’s a difference.
  12. My mind says go to the gym but my heart says food.
  13. Interesting Fact: Your mind is wandering about 30% of the time.
  14. Me: Mom, I need money…
    Mom: What? Did you spend those two dollars I gave you in 2003 already?
  15. Why I didn’t do my homework:
    “If you don’t have passion for something, you shouldn’t be doing it in the first place” -Lee Alexander McQueen
  16. Can we just round up all the people who are still enthusiastically playing “Blurred Lines” and quarantine them somewhere.
  17. For every male action, there is a female overreaction.
  18. “Don’t let a hot date turn into a due date.”–my father’s actual sex talk with me when I was 13.
  19. I’m not saying I believe in the zombie apocalypse. I’m just saying Walmart.
  20. If the lion wasn’t a coward and the Scarecrow had a brain, they would have warned the Tinman that he was better off without a heart.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Netflix, you know me too well…

Netflix knows me all too well...

Sometimes I think Netflix knows me better than any of my friends 😉

Sleep Laughing Baby:

Adorbs! Share if you thought that was cute!

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