Missile Crash, Hello Horse, and EPIC Quotes

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EPIC Quotes for Facebook:

  1. I am who I am. Your approval is not needed.
  2. There’s a bald spot in my yard so I’m gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over.
  3. The coolest thing about being a dog must be the ability to use your own butt for a pillow.
  4. If your problem can’t be solved by me saying “damn” and nodding a lot, then you shouldn’t come to me for help.
  5. I turn “omg I’m still not married and without a career and no idea what Im doing with my life ” years old this month.
  6. I have 4 personalities:
    1. When I’m alone
    2. When I’m around friends
    3. When I’m around my parents
    4. When I’m around someone I like
  7. That moment when you have so many things to do so you decide to take a nap instead.
  8. My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and smeared the walls with his own feces. After that, we never played Monopoly again.
  9. The person who invented marriage was creepy as hell like hey yo I love u so much I’m gonna get the government involved so you can’t leave.
  10. For many people, “live and learn” is one task too many.
  11. There should be an ‘lol’ type acronym for “I’m not laughing but I acknowledge you were trying to be funny.”
  12. That awkward moment when you realize one day you have to finish school and live a real life in the real world.
  13. Neat fact: the inside of a hot pocket is 3x hotter than the surface of the sun.
  14. People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s ass to fall off.
  15. For a guy that did not invent pizza, Papa John sure acts like a guy that invented pizza.
  16. If I am lucky enough to live to be 100, I am going to make up some fake reason to explain my longevity just to mess with people… something like… I ate a pinecone each and every day.
  17. The awkward moment when you walk into a room and you completely forgot what you were doing in there.
  18. Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.
  19. Being a person is getting too complicated. Time to be a unicorn.
  20. Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Funny Status iOS (Just Updated)

Horse says Hello:

hello horse

Haha, wow! That guy really is having a great time 🙂

CRAZY Russian Missile Crash:


Whoa! Now that was crazy.

Lots of statuses, funny pics, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.