Mid-Week Top 20 Facebook Status Countdown

Editorial Team

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Get over Hump Day, share one of these…

Mid-week Top 20 Facebook Status Countdown:

There’s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn’t have any pictures of me either.
Ever talk to someone so stupid they make you squint?
Ever update an app and realize the “fixed issues” were all a lie and it will never be the same? That’s what going back to an ex is like.
Canadian bacon is just bacon with good healthcare and a strong sense of national pride.
So many feelings fit in just one sigh.
You may be the most beautiful woman in the world, but what would a blind man think?
That blinky light on each side of your car? It’s there so we all know what direction you’re gonna aim your 4,000 lb death machine. USE IT.
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.
Imagine this: You`re home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers `Bless you` and hangs up.
I took the “Which 90’s Cartoon Are You?” quiz and got “You’re a grown ass man. Stop it. Right now.”
Be careful John Stamos. You’re about 2 yogurt commercials away from being Jamie Lee Curtis.
Call me traditional, but marriage should stay between a woman afraid of being alone & a man who finally caves after years of her pressure.
Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I’m describing him.
Photo of your legs on a beach or it didn’t happen.
So…2 cops walk into a bar… I don’t know what happened after that. I got the hell out of there.
Either my cooking’s improved or my family’s immune systems have strengthened.
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles?
Regardless of how much time you think you waste, just know that someone created a very detailed Wikipedia page for Grumpy Cat.