Mesmerizing Kitty, Gymnast WTF, & Best Status Updates

Make your weekend last longer, share these…

The BEST 20 Status Updates on Facebook:

  1. I have to stop saying “How stupid can you be?” I think people are taking it as a challenge.
  2. I wish memories were like text messages so we could delete the ones we dont like & keep the special ones forever.
  3. My laziness is exactly as the number 8. If it lays down, it becomes infinite.
  4. Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you.
  5. Every time you speak, I feel my brain cells committing suicide one by one.
  6. Facebook is the second most popular word that starts with an ‘F’ and ends with ‘K’
  7. Just because I’m not talking, doesn’t mean I’m in a bad mood. Sometimes I just like being quiet.
  8. Two things I will never grasp in life: 1. What to write in birthday cards. 2. What to do when people are singing happy birthday to me.
  9. We fear rejection, want attention, crave affection and dream of perfection.
  10. How busy can you actually be if you just took the time to change your online status to say so.
  11. Attractive person: Hey whats up?     Me: Who paid you
  12. In Math, I use the ultra new age  “Guess and Hope” method.
  13. Fat women want to be thinner. Thin women want bigger boobs. Big-boobed women want clothes to fit better. And you know what men want? Women.
  14. If you are ever wondering who is rapping in a song, just wait 4 more seconds and he’ll say his name.
  15. “Message sent failed. Would you like to retry?” Well, OBVIOUSLY, I was sending it for a reason.
  16. Who else does this? 1. wets toothbrush. 2. puts toothpaste on toothbrush. 3. wets toothbrush again. 4. starts brushing teeth.
  17. I take the L and R on my headphones way too seriously.
  18. Everyone comes into your life for a reason: some for good, some for bad. They shape us, they form us: some may break us, but in the end they make us who we are.
  19. I hate when I’m comfortable in bed and I forget the remote on the dresser!
  20. Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it’s wide use three fingers, make sure it’s wet & rub up & down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup…

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Demmmm Eyes:

mesmerizing cat

What a mesmerizing beauty! Mesmerizing from the dictionary… Hold the attention of (someone) to the exclusion of all else: “she was mesmerized”; “a mesmerizing stare”.   CHECK, CHECK, and CHECK!

Gymnast WTF (Vide0)

Seriously, what the heck just happened??!!? Is that even street legal? How in the heck is that possible? IF you thought that was amazing share this post!

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Check back on Monday for more funny status updates!