Welcome Back! Be Facebook Famous by posting these….
Funny Status Updates:
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Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
- When choosing a path in life, try to avoid the psychopaths.
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It’s been Monday all week.
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Has Nordstrom’s End of Civilization sale started yet?
- My 3 year old just told me she’s a ninja. I told her she’s not very good because I can see her. She said “Only because I want you to.” Now I’m scared.
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Communism is like prohibition – it’s a good idea, but it won’t work.
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Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
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I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
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Youth wastes away, but immaturity can last a lifetime.
- Wedding rings are bad for your circulation.
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They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.
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Always believe a woman when she says: “You don’t want to know!”
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While Facebooking, cars in front of you may be closer than expected. (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
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I just let my mind wander, but it didn’t come back yet.
Relationship Status: No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can share one umbrella if they huddle close.
Really… you don’t have a cell-phone???
Ultimate Diet Coke & Mentos FAIL:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiORvK-v3ys[/youtube]
Link of the day: The 7 Greatest Bill Murray Stories Ever Told.
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