Make a friends day, share one of these…
20 Clever Facebook Statuses:
- Well, at least it’s not Monday.
- I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
- I want to grow my own food but no one makes pizza seeds.
- Can we not and also say we didn’t?
- Instead of “single” as my status, I prefer “independently owned and operated”.
- As grandma used to say, “stop being a whiny little bitch and eat the f*cking gluten”.
- I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon… I’ll let you know.
- I’ll summon the end of days. I’ll burn the earth. I WILL BRING ABOUT THE APOCALYPSE! Oh never mind, the wifi’s back on.
- Ladies and Gentleman, I’ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There’s never enough beer.
- I hate it when celebrities get on TV and tell us to donate to some fund Bitch, you make 12 million a movie & I make $12/hr. You send money.
- If an athlete’s photographed with a bong it’s an embarrassment; if he’s photographed with a beer it’s an endorsement.
- How is McDonald’s breakfast delivery not a thing yet?I can order a wife from another country but I can’t get someone to bring me a fricken’ egg mcmuffin.
- Bumper stickers are helpful for recognizing members of society you do not want to associate with.
- 70% of our planet is covered in water, the other 30% is covered in idiots.
- The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it’s like excuse me, I’m working here.
- They say you’ve got to spend money to make money. Feel like there’s some middle step I’ve been missing?
- At this point, it’d be more efficient to use “WAS NOT MADE IN CHINA” stickers.
- Why isn’t the movie ‘What Women Want’ just 90 minutes of Ryan Gosling doing an ab workout on a pile of Nutella and money?
- Hard butter is the devil.
- 20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the “bad part of town,” meaning there was no 4G in that area.
Why Men Hate Being in Pictures:
This guy nailed it! Share if you enjoyed.
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