Memorable Status Updates for Facebook

The only website that offers you DAILY funny statuses and other interesting material to post to your Facebook profile!

Memorable Status Updates for Facebook:

  • Trying to find your phone when its on silent is one of life`s hardest tasks. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
  • What does a blond owl say? What? What?
  • There’s nothing wrong with gluttony, providing you don’t overdo it.
  • Two people in every one is a schizophrenic.
  • I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
  • I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, “Hello?” As if the bad guy is gonna be like, “Yeah, I`m in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?” ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • I’m proof that God has a sense of humor.
  • [D]id [I] [E]at [T]hat 🙂
  • Fact: not all goodbyes are sad. Example: “goodbye, class.”
  • It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown, and fewer still to ignore someone completely.
  • A pessimist is someone who looks at the land of milk and honey and sees only calories and cholesterol.
  • If you don’t care where you are, then you ain’t lost.
  • I’d like to help you out, which way did you come in?

Cute Picture to Post:

Cute little Kitty thinks he's a lion already.

Cute little Kitty thinks he’s a lion already.

Awesome Viral Video for your Facebook Wall:


Bonus Funny Video: Hilarious Best Man Speech

Everyone posts pictures and videos of their kids on Facebook but can your kid do that??? Talk about future NBA All-star!

If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!