Relax, pick one that fits and share these….
Top 20 Weekend Status Updates:
- Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.
- If a girl is really beautiful I end up complimenting her like I’m 5. You’re pretty. I like your hair. Neat shoes. Are you a princess? Hi.
- Technically, there is a lot of food in this house. However, none of it is sweet or microwavable. There is no food in this house.
- Success is not to be gauged by the position one has gained in life but by the obstacles one has endured.
- The trick is not let anyone know how really weird you are until it’s too late to back out.
- Do crabs think that fish can fly?
- Saying the word “awkward” in an awkward situation only makes it more awkward. Especially if you sing it.
- I am not afraid of heights, deep water, and love. I am afraid of falling, drowning, and a broken heart.
- I have decided to leave my past behind me.. so If I owe you money..I’m sorry. but I’ve moved on.
- Why is the ‘It’s Complicated’ button only for ‘In a Relationship’ and not for ‘Family’, ‘Career’, ‘Beliefs’, ‘Age’ or ‘Friends’?
- I want to be the reason you don’t want to go to sleep and can’t wait to wake up.
- If the ice melts before you finish your drink, we can’t be friends.
- If they actually made a drink called “Haterade” I’d probably buy it.
- A boy spends his time finding a girl to sleep with. A man spends his time looking for the woman worth waking up to.
- A girl drinks 4 cosmos over a span of 60 minutes. 25 mins later, she texts 3 of her besties. How many emojis will she use? Show your work.
- Taylor Swift rebounds better than the Knicks.
- If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting you do.
- I always try to behave but there are usually too many other options.
- Life is a confused teacher; first she gives the test then teaches the lesson.
- The only difference between a collector and a hoarder is the station the show is on.
Meerkat gets Tickled…
That sound is ridiculous 🙂 Share if you enjoyed.