Meerkat Laughing, Seems Legit, and Weekend Status Updates

Relax, pick one that fits and share these….

Top 20 Weekend Status Updates:

  1. Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.
  2. If a girl is really beautiful I end up complimenting her like I’m 5. You’re pretty. I like your hair. Neat shoes. Are you a princess? Hi.
  3. Technically, there is a lot of food in this house. However, none of it is sweet or microwavable. There is no food in this house.
  4. Success is not to be gauged by the position one has gained in life but by the obstacles one has endured.
  5. The trick is not let anyone know how really weird you are until it’s too late to back out.
  6. Do crabs think that fish can fly?
  7. Saying the word “awkward” in an awkward situation only makes it more awkward. Especially if you sing it.
  8. I am not afraid of heights, deep water, and love. I am afraid of falling, drowning, and a broken heart.
  9. I have decided to leave my past behind me.. so If I owe you money..I’m sorry. but I’ve moved on.
  10. Why is the ‘It’s Complicated’ button only for ‘In a Relationship’ and not for ‘Family’, ‘Career’, ‘Beliefs’, ‘Age’ or ‘Friends’?
  11. I want to be the reason you don’t want to go to sleep and can’t wait to wake up.
  12. If the ice melts before you finish your drink, we can’t be friends.
  13. If they actually made a drink called “Haterade” I’d probably buy it.
  14. A boy spends his time finding a girl to sleep with. A man spends his time looking for the woman worth waking up to.
  15. A girl drinks 4 cosmos over a span of 60 minutes. 25 mins later, she texts 3 of her besties. How many emojis will she use? Show your work.
  16. Taylor Swift rebounds better than the Knicks.
  17. If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting you do.
  18. I always try to behave but there are usually too many other options.
  19. Life is a confused teacher; first she gives the test then teaches the lesson.
  20. The only difference between a collector and a hoarder is the station the show is on.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Splashy Fish on Android (just like Flappy Bird!)

Meerkat gets Tickled…

That sound is ridiculous 🙂 Share if you enjoyed.

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Please check back on Monday for more funny status updates!