McFlurry Spill, Perspective, & Sharp Status Updates

Get over hump day, share one of these..

20 Sharp Facebook Statuses:

  1. Ya, Wednesday sucks but… it could be Monday!
  2. The awkward moment when you’re not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up.
  3. If there’s one piece of advice I can give you it’s to marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than you so they wont eat all of yours.
  4. The main problem with my selfies is that all of them are pictures of me.
  5. I’m fine with everyone having babies. Takes the pressure off those of us who prefer wine over children.
  6. I’d skip my coffee but we don’t want to wake the cracken.
  7. I shook the vending machine until my chips fell, so yeah, I’m a hunter-gatherer.
  8. At the end of Goonies, Chunk says to Sloth, “you’re gonna live with me now.” Why isn’t that a movie yet?
  9. They say your memory is the first thing to… something…
  10. I’ve been told I can be a bit condescending. That means I talk down to people.
  11. Share this if you know someone who is alive today simply because you don’t want to go to prison.
  12. I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five the shit out of each other because it’s negative.
  13. Those three little words they need to hear… Told you so!
  14. I wonder how many people who “fucking love science” on Facebook, fucking dreaded it in middle school.
  15. Crazy thought, there is someone in the world who has lived the equivalent of the entirety of your life in prison.
  16. A broom is just an acoustic vacuum.
  17. I lost my mood ring, I’m not sure how I feel about this.
  18. No no, it’s fine, I’ll text myself back.
  19. me: yeah can i have a large iced coffee
    barista: you….sure you want iced? its cold outside.
    me: *leans in really close*
    me: i feel nothing
  20. I don’t sugar coat. I’m not Willy Wonka.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Guy taps breaks while his girl is eating a McFlurry and then this happens..

Haha! Her reaction is classic. Please feel free to Share/Like if you want to make someone laugh.

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