Get over hump day, share one of these..
20 Sharp Facebook Statuses:
- Ya, Wednesday sucks but… it could be Monday!
- The awkward moment when you’re not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up.
- If there’s one piece of advice I can give you it’s to marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than you so they wont eat all of yours.
- The main problem with my selfies is that all of them are pictures of me.
- I’m fine with everyone having babies. Takes the pressure off those of us who prefer wine over children.
- I’d skip my coffee but we don’t want to wake the cracken.
- I shook the vending machine until my chips fell, so yeah, I’m a hunter-gatherer.
- At the end of Goonies, Chunk says to Sloth, “you’re gonna live with me now.” Why isn’t that a movie yet?
- They say your memory is the first thing to… something…
- I’ve been told I can be a bit condescending. That means I talk down to people.
- Share this if you know someone who is alive today simply because you don’t want to go to prison.
- I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five the shit out of each other because it’s negative.
- Those three little words they need to hear… Told you so!
- I wonder how many people who “fucking love science” on Facebook, fucking dreaded it in middle school.
- Crazy thought, there is someone in the world who has lived the equivalent of the entirety of your life in prison.
- A broom is just an acoustic vacuum.
- I lost my mood ring, I’m not sure how I feel about this.
- No no, it’s fine, I’ll text myself back.
- me: yeah can i have a large iced coffee
barista: you….sure you want iced? its cold outside.
me: *leans in really close*
me: i feel nothing
- I don’t sugar coat. I’m not Willy Wonka.
Guy taps breaks while his girl is eating a McFlurry and then this happens..
Haha! Her reaction is classic. Please feel free to Share/Like if you want to make someone laugh.