Mascara Panda, Baby Dog Naps, and Fun Status Posts

Brighten your friends day, share one of these…

20 Fun Facebook Status Posts for Thursday:

  1. I’ve got 99 problems and my inability to self motivate is causing every single one of them.
  2. May the bridges I burn light the way.
  3. Life’s a roller-coaster. Forget the downs; the ups are full of magnificent, fun, exhilarating moments which will make the ride all worthwhile.
  4. I don’t trust people that dislike tacos.
  5. Instead of doing homework, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how much homework I have to do.
  6. That message felt like a great idea until I hit send.
  7. Beard Law: If you touch my beard without asking, I get to touch your butt without asking.
  8. The art of taking a self pic fast enough that no one sees you. The Stealthfie.
  9. I’m still waiting for the episode of Storage Wars where there’s a homeless guy living in the unit.
  10. More girls need to start searching for guys who have goals, ambitions & crave success because 10 years from now “swag” isn’t going to pay your bills.
  11. Did you ever notice how a woman’s “I’ll be ready in 5min” and a guys “I’ll be home in 5min” are one and the same?
  12. Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.
  13. I gave a homeless lady $5. Friend said I shouldn’t because the lady will only buy booze with it. I said So? That’s what I’d buy too. You’d have to be pretty drunk to sleep on the concrete.
  14. I constantly go between being extremely anxious about all the things I have to do and literally not giving a shit. There is no in between.
  15. What’s that Jennifer Aniston film where she plays a kooky girl who ultimately finds love?
  16. I will stop eating ice cream out of the container once I make it completely level.
  17. People assume I’m smart when they see my glasses case. Then they see that I use it to store a Twix bar and they recognize my true genius.
  18. Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it’s only Thursday.
  19. “It’s a long story” is just a polite way of saying “I don’ feel like telling you.”
  20. There are two kinds of people in the world- those I’d catch during a trust fall and those I wouldn’t.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Baby Dog Naps with Owner:


Most likely the cutest thing you’ve seen all day 🙂 Share if you enjoyed!

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