Marketing Gold, Red Light, and 20 Best Status Updates

Editorial Team

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Welcome to October 2014, share one of these…

The 20 Best Facebook Status Updates from September:

On a scale of one to crazy how many cats are you?
If two people are arguing and one person says, “You know what…” that argument is about to get awesome.
I solve all my problems by creating three new ones as distractions.
Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
My reaction to stepping in dog shit is identical to me logging onto Facebook
The easiest way to distract a woman is to show her a picture of herself.
Today Joseph cleaned the house, made dinner, and was really cool about some crazy news I had. Best. Husband. Ever.” -If Mary had Facebook
My favorite part in Pretty Woman is her joy when he agrees to pay $3,000 for 6 days, effectively lowering her rate from $100/hr to $21/hr
I have a condition that keeps me from going on a diet. It’s called being hungry.
I prefer to call it a “Ta-Da” list. Cause it’d be effin’ amazing if I actually accomplished anything on it.
First World problems: My book ran out of batteries.
It’s so frustrating when you’re like the only person who can see how evil and sneaky someone is and everyone else is like blind to it.
a sentence will always
look like
poetry

if you
hit
enter a lot
Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow still end up dating one.
That moment when you realize the “&” symbol looks like a man dragging his butt across the floor…
Unless you are selling Thin Mints, don’t ever knock on my door.
I’m single because I don’t negotiate with terrorists.
We’ve solved so many world problems, and yet chocolate still has calories.
There’s nothing to fear but fear itself….and mornings.
No matter how hard I try, I just never seem to run out of bad ideas.