Make Monday count, share one of these…
20 of the Greatest Status Updates from this weekend:
- Guys, listen to everything she says like there will be a test on it…because there will be.
- That awkward moment when your friend starts arguing with their parents in a different language.
- 2am is the new 10pm
- Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines.
- Pick any number. Multiply it by two. Now add 12 to it. Divide it by 3. Now change it to 10. That’s how many seconds you just wasted.
- I would rather raise a daughter who became a stripper than a contestant on The Bachelor.
- Why are you showing me pictures of your kid if you have a dog?
- I can think of absolutely no acceptable situation where a grown man should be taking a bathroom mirror selfie.
- I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
- When Mike Tyson says “Bithneth”…… You know he really means business.
- “Make it rain” is the only appropriate response when asked if you want freshly grated parmesan.
- I’m pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.
- My gf won’t get the remote that’s in the other room, but if my wallet was at the bottom of an ocean she’d be shopping already.
- If a WorldCup match is still tied after penalty kicks, they move on to the swimsuit competition.
- I’m sorry I offended you with my common sense.
- Men are like dogs. We’re excited to see you and have no clue what you’re mad about.
- Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside
- Relax… We’re all crazy.. It’s not a competition.
- I’ve found that the things I’m most interested in aren’t really in my best interest.
- “That girl is totally checking you out,” said Vodka.
The Majestic Arctic Fox…
Dat tail doe!
Guy Puts on Pants Using No Hands…
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwfLgXJpQd0[/youtube]
And, they said it couldn’t be done. Admit you watched it until the end 😛
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