Make Monday count, share one of these…
20 of the Greatest Status Updates from this weekend:
- Guys, listen to everything she says like there will be a test on it…because there will be.
- That awkward moment when your friend starts arguing with their parents in a different language.
- 2am is the new 10pm
- Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines.
- Pick any number. Multiply it by two. Now add 12 to it. Divide it by 3. Now change it to 10. That’s how many seconds you just wasted.
- I would rather raise a daughter who became a stripper than a contestant on The Bachelor.
- Why are you showing me pictures of your kid if you have a dog?
- I can think of absolutely no acceptable situation where a grown man should be taking a bathroom mirror selfie.
- I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
- When Mike Tyson says “Bithneth”…… You know he really means business.
- “Make it rain” is the only appropriate response when asked if you want freshly grated parmesan.
- I’m pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.
- My gf won’t get the remote that’s in the other room, but if my wallet was at the bottom of an ocean she’d be shopping already.
- If a WorldCup match is still tied after penalty kicks, they move on to the swimsuit competition.
- I’m sorry I offended you with my common sense.
- Men are like dogs. We’re excited to see you and have no clue what you’re mad about.
- Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside
- Relax… We’re all crazy.. It’s not a competition.
- I’ve found that the things I’m most interested in aren’t really in my best interest.
- “That girl is totally checking you out,” said Vodka.
The Majestic Arctic Fox…
Dat tail doe!
Guy Puts on Pants Using No Hands…
And, they said it couldn’t be done. Admit you watched it until the end 😛