Daily New Statuses, Share these…
LOL Status Updates:
- I wish all videos of people twerking ended with them catching on fire.
- My brain is giving me the silent treatment
- I hate it when people say “listen” before telling you something
- If you can’t do the right thing, at least do the thing right.
- Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you’re so damn funny.
- Speakerphones should only work when no one else is around.
- That awkward moment when you tell someone they were in your dream last night and they get creeped out.
- I leave notes on people’s windshields telling them I smashed their car and did an amazing job fixing it.
- I wonder if butterflies get humans in their stomach when they’re anxious?
- If someone says “I love you” and you don’t feel the same way, just say “I love YouTube” really fast.
- I just wrote a Wikipedia article about your Mom.
- People who get out of the car and actually have a sit down meal inside McDonald’s scare me.
- If I drink alcohol… I’m an alcoholic. If i drink Fanta… I’m fantastic!
- You know your childhood is over when you fall asleep on the couch, and wake up on the couch.
- I say “I don’t know” to everything when I’m in a bad mood.
- 2+2=fish 3+3=eight 7+7=triangle Only smart people will get this. LIKE if you get it.
- My secret fantasy is to have two men at the same time, one cooking and one cleaning.
- Traffic would be awesome if it didn’t exist.
- Instead of spending 5 hours figuring out how to change my car clock back an hour, I’m selling it and buying a car that has the correct time.
Mary had a Little Lamb…
And her coat was white as snow 🙂 Dat Smile!
Waffle Falling Over…
Something about that Waffle will make you re-watch that at least 6 times.