Friday is finally here, celebrate with these…
Hilarious Facebook Status Updates:
- Breaking News: The makers of Hello Kitty have announced that Hello Kitty is not in fact a cat, but a human girl MY WHOLE LIFE IS ONE BIG LIE
- Me: Should I make a sarcastic comment or not…
- Remember, condoms prevent minivans.
- Coffee is not just a beverage…it’s a cup of liquid sanity.
- Don’t trust people that dislike Tacos. They’re probably not human.
- People with multiple personalities should donate one of them to people who don’t have one.
- I hate it when you’re eating cereal and the last 4 pieces are like “Catch me if you can bitch”.
- I like to think I treat my body like a temple. A Temple of Doom, but a temple nonetheless.
- I have two moods: sleep is for the weak and sleeping for a week.
- If you want to feel like an asshole, try explaining a fish tank to a visitor from Somalia. “This is food and water we just look at.”
- That awkward eye contact moment when you’re just looking around and someone is already looking at you.
- Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship.
- Cleavage is like the sun. You can look, but don’t stare.. Unless you’re wearing sunglasses.
- I haven’t used algebra in 3x-q years
- The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died.
- Spiderman: Just another guy who ends up with sticky hands after using the web.
- Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don’t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
- Admit it. You get a small rush of happiness when your crush likes your Facebook picture or status.
- If it doesn’t make you stupid, it’s not love.
- The good thing about listening to a new song is that it doesn’t remind you of anyone.
That makes me happier than it should. Share if you enjoyed 😉
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