Make the weekend last longer, share one of these…
Top 20 Status Updates from Facebook this past week (11/15):
- I’m one of those people who you’ll hate until you have an actual conversation with.
- Bacon: low-carb AND gluten-free
- I could be a morning person if morning happened after 11.
- ‘I feel ugly today’ lucky you… I feel ugly everyday -_-
- There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
- I’m not in a hurry, but I’m not trying to stroll.
- I wish I budgeted with my whole paycheck as well as I do with the last fifty bucks of it.
- If kindness really kills, you’ll always be completely safe around me.
- My will has a list of friends not allowed to speak at my funeral.
- I have decided to stop doing things “Like a Boss” and will now do things “Like a Rhinestone Cowboy.”
- A reality show where a couple wins $10 million dollars if they show nobody a picture of their baby for the first 2 years.
- Telling my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage.
- “Itself. Itself. Itself. Itself. Itself…” ~ History
- If you hold up a Shell and listen carefully, you can hear the cashier telling you he doesn’t want any trouble.
- Why are you showing me pictures of your kid if you have a dog?
- Without coffee, I’m just a really tall 2 year old.
- For the 1st time in history, Earthlings have landed on a comet! Finally, revenge for the time that comet landed on all our dinosaurs.
- He wanted super glue so I gave him regular glue with a little cape on it.
- I’ve never considered myself much of a conspiracy theorist. Then I discovered the letters in Frito Lay could be rearranged to spell oiLy Fart- Coincidence?… I think not!!!
- Don’t be upset that you’re single; be happy that someone isn’t ruining your life.
We finally figured out what “Lick” is in Kitty Language…
Silly KittEh! Tape doesn’t = Lick 😛
Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App. We’ll see you back on MONDAY for more Funny Stuff!