Killer Status Updates for Every Occasion

Be the Facebook Celebrity you’ve always dreamed of being by posting these…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
  • I solve lots of my problem by simply ignoring them.
  • i-pad, i-phone, i-pod, i-tab………. and finally i-bankrupt 🙂
  • The first rule of Rule Club is that we talk about the rules. A lot.
  • How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
  • I’m texting random phone numbers with “I just saw your Facebook Status. LOL”!
  • You say “I suggest you join this Facebook group and get 500 free Mafia Wars points” but all I see “Block me.”
  • Spending the day driving past people taking pictures in public and yelling, “YUCK! DELETE!”
  • Nothing is Impossible, because IMPOSSIBLE itself says, I’M POSSIBLE. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • I need an ex-boyfriend so I have something to do on Facebook at 3 in the morning.
  • About 50% of the time “good luck” really means “efff you.”
  • Remembers back when Blackberry’s and Apple’s were still just fruit..
  • Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you’re good. Fool me four times, WOW! Did you major in fooling?
  • You don’t need to tell me that I’m not your cup of tea. I am well aware that I’m not a cup of tea, idiot.
  • I read everything in comic sans sans. this way it’s funny.
  • Just because we have 10 mutual friends doesn’t mean you have to add me. I DON’T KNOW U, friend request declined.
  • The only perfect science is hindsight. (VIA our Tweeter:@FreeFunnyStuff )

Funny Picture to Post:

World War 2 History

Another funny picture, President Trump.

Funny Video to Post:


If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!