Facebook Status Updates

Kids These Days, Sax Battle, and Awesome Status Updates

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Happy Monday, Score More Likes Share These…

20 Awesome Status Updates:

Does running late count as exercise?
The more photos you have to untag on Monday = The better your weekend was.
May be time to get in shape. Halfway up this flight of stairs and I’m considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning.
It’s not that I can’t sleep – I just really need to time to consider EVERY POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN. EVER.
I’m going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance in case I don’t make it.
Do you guys remember how in the 90’s we had a room in our houses called “the computer room”?
If a woman shaves her legs for you, at least every other day, in the Winter time, it’s Love.
You can find me in the club, asking everyone I came with if they are ready to leave yet.
I never make plans until I know how I am getting out of them.
My good friends are bad for my liver.
I work hard so my dog can have a better life.
Your best friend should also be the weirdest person you know.
That mini-heart attack you have when you check your pocket for your phone, and it’s not there.
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza…
Life is a confused teacher; first she gives the test then teaches the lesson.
The trick is not let anyone know how really weird you are until it’s too late to back out.
All of my plans for the future start out with “when I get rich”
I wish my phone would stop correcting “omg” to
“OMG” I’m not that shocked.
That crazy 5 seconds, when you stand up too fast, and you either go blind or extremely dizzy.
Technically, there is a lot of food in this house. However, none of it is sweet or microwavable. There is no food in this house.