Make someones day, share one of these..
20 Excellent Facebook Status Updates:
- Cats constantly look at you like you just asked them for a ride to the airport.
- Mr. Peanut is an aristocrat who sells dead and dry-roasted members of his own species.
- I should eat more healthy, but we all saw how that whole apple thing went for Adam & Eve.
- That awkward moment when you thought about something really funny, and can’t stop laughing and everyone’s looking at you.
- Some of my friends are buying houses. I just purchased wine on credit.
- I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one!
- The messy bun and sweatshirt look works for most girls. For me, it looks like I’ve tried all the drugs.
- The more exes you have the more names you don’t have for your future child.
- Because of my ex, I’m going to have a tough time ever trusting another woman – me, to the girl at Wendy’s, as I double-check my takeout bag.
- Surgeons and snipers need steady hands for the exact opposite reason.
- Otters have no friggin’ idea space even exists.
- I feel like there should be more breakfast beers on the market.
- AutoCorrect should have options such as “I intend to swear.”, “I have a large lexicon.” and “I regularly use technical words.”
- I don’t burn bridges. I just fail to maintain them and let them structurally degrade over time.
- Her: I just feel like I’m not being heard. Me: Definitely. Sounds good babe. Her: Are you even listening to me? Me: Thats crazy!
- Rescue helicopters should have white lights at the end of their blade so when they spin it looks a halo.
- I always keep a Mexican restaurant on speed dial in queso emergency.
- I wonder if people who decide to try crack saw a crackhead and thought, yeah that.
- People who make really bad decisions are always like “I have the worst luck”
- You have a point. It’s just not very sharp.
Sheesh, could you believe that clown tailgating like that?!?
Kid faces a tough dilemma…
I wish I was 4 again…. LOL! We feel ya, kid. Share if you enjoyed :).
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