Intense Biking, Fox Sez, and Crazy Status Updates

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Crazy Facebook Statuses:

  1. If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring.
  2. Keep calm and pretend today isn’t Monday.
  3. I laugh even harder when I try to explain why I’m laughing.
  4. When I’m alone in my house, every sound is a ghost.
  5. Why does mineral water that has “trickled through mountains for centuries” have a “Use By” date?
  6. That awkward moment when ‘one size fits all’ doesn’t fit you.
  7. So far this is the oldest I’ve ever been.
  8. I’m right 97% of the time…who cares about the other 4%.
  9. Dear Subway, chill out with the lettuce. Sincerely, everyone.
  10. Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I’ve done in my entire life.
  11. You’re going to be tired and hate everything when you wake up tomorrow no matter what you do tonight. Go for it.
  12. If you ever hear me say that I missed you it’s only because I have bad aim.
  13. Crazy people are never aware of their own insanity. I’m so glad I’m not a crazy person.
  14. Should probably try using passwords I can remember.
  15. If these people don’t start giving better advice, I’m no longer going to allow them in my head.
  16. Dear shooting stars, wells, eyelashes, birthday candles, and 11:11, what happened to all my wishes?
  17. Based on the way it’s being used “LOL” must stand for “OK”
  18. Full of peace and calm this morning. Googled my symptoms and found out I died in my sleep.
  19. I named my TV remote Waldo, you know why.
  20. People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Super Intense Biking…


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