Pick something that fits, and share it…
Ingenious Facebook Status Updates:
- I’m filthy rich. 50% of this is true.
- I love how the internet has improved people’s grammar far more then any English teacher has. If you write “your” instead of “you’re” in a English class all you get is a red mark…. Mess up on the Internet just once, and may God have mercy on your soul.
- I don’t drink to forget about problems. I drink to create new problems that that make the old issues irrelevant.
- My girlfriend called me lazy the other day. I almost responded.
- True love is missing them every second you’re away from them, and wanting to strangle them every second you’re with them.
- If you don’t like something, just take away it’s only power: Your attention.
- Gardening is awesome because it is one of the only ways a normal person can be persuaded into buying actual bags of poop.
- When a spider is big enough for me to hear it moving from a distance I can call the cops right?
- When you hear a certain song, you can close your eyes and get sucked back into a moment of your life. Music has power like nothing else
- I’d never slip a roofie in your unattended drink. I’m broke. I’m going to drink your unattended drink.
- Dogs are tough. I’ve been interrogating this one for hours and he still won’t tell me who is a good boy.
- I’d like to be a kid again but only because twirling in circles was acceptable and the only password I had to remember was “open sesame.”
- Sorry I can’t hangout, my phone is only at 61%.
- With the right person, you can talk about absolutely nothing for hours & feel like you spoke about everything.
- I wake up relatively happy every morning. Then I interact with other people and things change quickly.
- Got to love the casino, for a couple of hundred dollars you get 10 minutes of fun and a FREE drink!
- Washing my sheets always ends with me sleeping on a bare mattress with a naked pillow, covered in a quilt that was on the couch.
- Every time you can walk away with your head held high, and laugh during a difficult time, you win.
- Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.
- When the only light in your world is suddenly gone …it’s time to recharge your phone.
ICED Tea Done Like a Boss…
Bravo, mr. Iced Tea. You’ve really out done yourself this time 🙂
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