Make your weekend last longer, share these…
Silly Facebook Statuses:
- You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout I’m telling you why…we have our own problems and nobody cares about yours.
- There is almost a full year until Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up…. Unbelievable.
- Everybody has that one friend that has the worst taste in music.
- Lying through your teeth doesn’t count as flossing.
- I believe in second chances. I just don’t think everybody deserves them.
- I’m not fat. My stomach is 3D.
- S.C.H.O.O.L. = Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life.
C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Start Sleeping
F.I.N.A.L.S. = F**k I Never Actually Learned Sh*t
- That little dance your thumbs do when you don’t know how to answer to a text.
- Finally did it. 25 inflatable mattresses later and I’ve finally turned my apartment into a bounce castle.
- There are two types of people in the world:
1. People who understand and appreciate sarcasm.
- You haven’t truly won an argument until the other person says “whatever.”
- I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow but I’m going to be too busy sitting on mine.
- Just because you’re offended, doesn’t mean you’re right.
- I got robbed today at Shell. I called the cops, and they asked if I knew who did it. I said “yeah, pump 6.”
- I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting. I nearly couldn’t finish my sandwich.
- Why is it that I can’t get a mobile reception in my house in town, yet a terrorist can upload his vids from a cave in Afghanistan?
- If your mind is so closed, why is your mouth so open?
- I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
- UPS, FedEx, and DHL trucks should play a jingle like ice cream trucks so we know when our packages are coming.
- Next time a customer service rep asks “Is there anything else I can do for you?” whisper “Smile for the camera, I’m watching you” & hang up
This 1-year old has mad skillz:
OK that was hilarious and adorable! Share if you enjoyed.