Hot Lava, McDonalds Sauce, and 20 Fantastic Facebook Statuses

FunnyStatus Team

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Make someone blow some air out of their nose, share one of these..

20 Fantastic Facebook Statuses:

That awkward moment when you walk in a room and forget what you needed, so you awkwardly walk away looking confused.
I can’t get out bed. These blankets have accepted me as one of their own and if I leave, I might lose their trust.
I wish my wallet came with free refills.
Now that the room is silent, my stomach will sing you all a song.
I already want to take a nap tomorrow.
You are living proof that the Lord is testing me.
Why do we use our blankets as shields at night? Like is the monster gonna be like ” oh crap…..they have a blanket..RRRUUUUNNN!!!!”
Only kids count sheep to fall asleep. Count your debts, your mistakes, your heartache and cry yourself to sleep like a grownup.
Why aren’t we more amazed that parrots can talk?
Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the hell.
I love how my calendar assumes when I add a 8:00 event, it’s AM. Google thinks I’ve got my life together.
Dating: the process of hiding your crazy just long enough to get the other person to commit.
“Do what you love” is shitty career advice because mostly what I love is spending time alone and eating breakfast food.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you’re probably really hot.
iOS 8 let’s you passcode lock specific apps? It’s fun imagining how many break ups that could cause.
Please enjoy your day. Not mine.
Don’t reach for the stars. They are extremely hot and will incinerate you.
So many feelings today. Mostly hunger.
Every morning you have a choice: forget your dreams or live them.
Don’t ever be a victim of your own life. Don’t come to me with “I can’t do it because of something/someone” bullshit. You are in charge.