Hilarious Status Updates for your Wednesday on Facebook

Make your Facebook Friends laugh by posting these…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  1. Hard work never killed anybody, but it does keep you off Facebook. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
  2. Never borrow money from a zombie: they almost always want to be paid back in brains.
  3. “Wouldn’t it suck to be homeless? Come try it.” — campgrounds
  4. My mom wants 3-D eye surgery to see 3-D movies without glasses. I told her they don’t exist. She doesn’t care. Operation’s next Tuesday.
  5. Walmart: because going to Target requires a shower.
  6. Dude is texting with a flip phone, just like George Washington did.
  7. My FYI’s are becoming TMI’s.
  8. Nothing like an old high school crush finding you & friending you on Facebook because he needs cows or some crap for Farmville. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  9. Girl Scout Cookies are like the ice cream truck for adults, people lose their shit when they come around.
  10. If you google “MySpace” your computer will ask “Are you serious right now?”
  11. ME: “Whoa. Put a combo on that meat locker.” HIM: “Huh?” ME: “Your fly is down, idiot.”
  12. I wonder if the disappointed Y2K people see 2012 as a do-over..
  13. If you jogged backwards, would you gain weight?
  14. Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
  15. Warning: the internet may contain traces of nuts. (VIA our Tweeter:@FreeFunnyStuff )

Funny Thought of the Day:

Funny thought of the day.

Funny Video to post to your Facebook Profile:


Post that one on your FB Wall and you’ll be getting a ton of hilarious awkward comments.

If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!