Make your weekend last longer, share one of these…
20 Great Status Updates for the Weekend:
- Whiskey improves with age. I improve with whiskey.
- I’ve probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the fridge.
- All I want for Christmas is you. (JK, give me wine.)
- Don’t judge me, Sir. You wouldn’t know I was texting and driving if your eyes were on the road. Like they’re supposed to be.
- I don’t mean to interrupt people I just randomly remember things and get really excited I’m sorry.
- I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won’t have to talk to them.
- Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
- What’s worse to have stuck in your head; a knife or All About That Bass?
- “You wore that before” yea because it’s my shirt and i have a washing machine!
- They say laughter’s the best medicine, but I’d argue that it’s whiskey. And maybe chocolate.
- I’m sorry for the things I said when I was cold.
- Eat like no one is watching. Or dance. Whatever.
- Messing up a guy’s hair = cute. Messing up a girl’s hair = putting your life on the line.
- That awkward moment when someone asks you what’s wrong, and they’re the problem.
- This bar doesn’t know it yet, but it’s about to be karaoke night.
- “Have you tried just eating a ton of pizza?”- me as a therapist
- “It’s complicated” relationship status = someone cheated but we signed a lease
- For a guy who cant figure out how a remote works my dad sure has a lot of advice for Obama.
- It’s like I wanna be left alone but I still want people to notice my absence, you know.
- My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I’m thinking about getting her a treadmill.
Ferret Thinks He Can Make The Jump:
Dawwww, poor little guy! He barely made it like a quarter of the way 😛 share if you enjoyed!
Have a great weekend! Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App. We’ll see you back on MONDAY for more Funny Stuff!