Hashtags, Ferret Fail, and Weekend Status Updates

Make your weekend last longer, share one of these…

20 Great Status Updates for the Weekend:

  1. Whiskey improves with age. I improve with whiskey.
  2. I’ve probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the fridge.
  3. All I want for Christmas is you. (JK, give me wine.)
  4. Don’t judge me, Sir. You wouldn’t know I was texting and driving if your eyes were on the road. Like they’re supposed to be.
  5. I don’t mean to interrupt people I just randomly remember things and get really excited I’m sorry.
  6. I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won’t have to talk to them.
  7. Do you ever dislike someone so much that you hate when people are nice to them?
  8. What’s worse to have stuck in your head; a knife or All About That Bass?
  9. “You wore that before” yea because it’s my shirt and i have a washing machine!
  10. They say laughter’s the best medicine, but I’d argue that it’s whiskey. And maybe chocolate.
  11. I’m sorry for the things I said when I was cold.
  12. Eat like no one is watching. Or dance. Whatever.
  13. Messing up a guy’s hair = cute. Messing up a girl’s hair = putting your life on the line.
  14. That awkward moment when someone asks you what’s wrong, and they’re the problem.
  15. This bar doesn’t know it yet, but it’s about to be karaoke night.
  16. “Have you tried just eating a ton of pizza?”- me as a therapist
  17. “It’s complicated” relationship status = someone cheated but we signed a lease
  18. For a guy who cant figure out how a remote works my dad sure has a lot of advice for Obama.
  19. It’s like I wanna be left alone but I still want people to notice my absence, you know.
  20. My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I’m thinking about getting her a treadmill.

More Funny Pictures & Videos | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Ferret Thinks He Can Make The Jump:

Dawwww, poor little guy! He barely made it like a quarter of the way 😛 share if you enjoyed!

Have a great weekend! Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App. We’ll see you back on MONDAY for more Funny Stuff!