Happy Hamster, Flying Sloth, and Funny Status Updates

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Funny Status Updates:

  • I wish all my electronics came with as much memory as a girlfriend or wife. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • 8 year olds today have Facebooks, twitter, phones, ipods. When i was there age, I had a coloring book, crayons, chalk, and imagination.
  • The guy who predicted the end of the world moved the date to Oct/Nov. That’s not the end of the world, it’s just another Twilight film.
  • That awkward moment when you’re late for class, and when you walk in, everyone stares at you like you killed someone.
  • I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought, what good would that do?
  • After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, ‘No hablo ingles.’
  • Never trust a dog to watch your food. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • Health plans are like hospital gowns…You only think you’re covered.
  • When I have kids I’m gonna tell them drugs are good for them. It’s the only way I can be sure they won’t try them.
  • People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.
  • About 50% of the time “good luck” means “effff you.”
  • Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
  • If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
  • If you ain’t makin’ waves, you ain’t kickin’ hard enough!

One Happy Hamster…

Hamsters Last Meal

Now that’s what I call, livin’ it up!

Sloth fly’s across the road…


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