Good news, it’s almost the Friday 🙂 Pick one that fits and share…
20 Silly Facebook Statuses:
- For just 3 cents a day, all of my followers can help me quit my job…
- Scumbag Youtube instantly loads ads perfectly and 2 minutes to load a 20second video -_-
- My exercise routine consists of doing diddly squats.
- Please stop posting pics of yourself. Because, there’s this app on your phone that makes you look ugly. It’s called “Camera”
- I need an emoticon that’s stabbing another emoticon in the eye with a pen while repeatedly punching it in its little emoticon balls.
- Whenever I am asked to drop my business card in a fishbowl to win a free lunch at a restaurant, I take a handful of those cards in the fishbowl and call people and tell them to come in for a free lunch. I know, it’s mean.
- Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile with my shoes….shoved up your ass.
- I’m never sure which services I’m supposed to tip for, so everybody I interact with gets a buck.
- Ok super positive people, just calm down…not everything is a Gift, a Blessing or a Miracle.
- I combat the ” silent treatment” with the ” didn’t even notice” treatment.
- This woman asked me if I had ever been in a stable relationship. I told her that I wasn’t into livestock.
- We should throw a politician in jail every day for the next 10 years. Even if we don’t know why, they will.
- You’d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
- If your bf/gf is mad at you put a cape on them and say, “Now you’re super mad!” If they laugh marry them.
- If my fridge had glass doors I would still stand there and hold the door open.
- I never understood why people use a persons picture for their caller ID; me personally I prefer to take a picture of myself and how that person makes me feel.
- A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.
- The tattoos in your shirtless profile pic scream ‘bad boy’. The flowered wallpaper behind you screams ‘Still living with mom’
- I keep my landline active because I know sooner or later Trinity or Morpheus will contact me.
- Those “Speed Enforced by Aircraft” signs don’t understand how eager I am to get pulled over by an F-16.
This Video Brings New Meaning to “C-Walk”
I had no idea that inner city youth are fans of the Irish jig, bravo.
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