Halloween Terror, Souvenir Stores, and Fun Facebook Statuses

Brighten someones Tuesday, share one of these…

Fun Facebook Statuses:

  1. Isn’t it weird how with some people you never run out of things to talk about but with others it’s like you always end up talking about the weather?
  2. “True beauty is within” for example opening your fridge.
  3. I no longer have the energy to do all nighters like I used to. Now I need 8 hours of sleep and two naps just to feel okay.
  4. I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy.
  5. Just pour the coffee and back away slowly.
  6. The only reason I keep my land line is for the eventuality that this is The Matrix.
  7. Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like “I don’t know how to hold a pencil”
  8. It’s nice to know that in your short existence on Earth your typos could mean so much to one person.
  9. You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”
  10. Never change. Unless you’re an asshole. Then you should probably change a little.
  11. More Americans have dated Taylor Swift than have died from ebola.
  12. I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.
  13. I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life….if I die tomorrow.
  14. For Halloween, I’m going as a drunk girl sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
  15. You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
  16. Have a day. That’s about as inspirational I get.
  17. I refuse to buy new things on black Friday, especially the day after we say we’re grateful for what we already have.
  18. Gently placing your finger on someone’s lips and saying, “Shh, not another word,” is super romantic but asshole cops don’t seem to think so.
  19. Waiting 30 seconds for a Youtube Ad feels a bit too much like a long term relationship.
  20. So I just saw a donkey crossing the road. The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart ass.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Imagine going to someones house on Halloween and they have this…

That is so terrifying. I would probably run a mile in 3 minutes after seeing that thing in action.

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