One of these is guaranteed to get laughs, pick and share…
Cool Facebook Status Posts:
- I thought we had something. You met my family, made me dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”
- 1: Go to iTunes.
2: Check top albums & top singles.
3: Understand why the world is going to shit.
- I agree that some people might have been dropped on their heads as a baby, but some people were clearly thrown against a wall.
- That awkward moment when you’re late for class, and when you walk in, everyone stares at you like you killed someone.
- The hardest part about having a vivid imagination is finding enough things to climb on to avoid all the frickin’ lava on the floor!
- How funny is it when you’re telling somebody a made-up story and someone says “Oh yeah I heard about that”?
- Shout out to loud sneezers. What the hell was that? Did you just get shot?
- Sorry you remember meeting me but I don’t remember you. Be less boring.
- When getting to know someone make sure you find out if their ‘volunteer work’ isn’t really community service.
- There’s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
- Kiss her in the middle of her sentence so you don’t have to hear what she’s talking about.
- No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
- If you love something let it go but make sure one of your close friends is still friends with it on Facebook so you can stalk it.
- Sometimes waking up means the best part of your day is over.
- I’ve spent at least 15% of my life pulling a chain & trying to figure out if the ceiling fan is speeding up or slowing down.
- So. I don’t see you for months and now you pop up and expect me to take care of you?? OK, fine. I’ll start up the mower….stupid grass.
- Irony = Someone posting a status about how broke they are and at the bottom of their post it says: 8 minutes ago via iPad
- Don’t be stupid, if their ex is still calling its because they’re still getting an answer.
- Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always write: ‘last warning, you have a week to get the money together.’
- My screensaver is a screenshot of a bunch of spreadsheets so my boss doesn’t notice when I haven’t moved my mouse in an hour.
Prairie Dog too fat to get out of his hole…
Poor guy needs to lay off the french fries.
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