Group Projects, Prairie Dog, and Cool Status Posts

One of these is guaranteed to get laughs, pick and share…

Cool Facebook Status Posts:

  1. I thought we had something. You met my family, made me dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”
  2. 1: Go to iTunes.
    2: Check top albums & top singles.
    3: Understand why the world is going to shit.
  3. I agree that some people might have been dropped on their heads as a baby, but some people were clearly thrown against a wall.
  4. That awkward moment when you’re late for class, and when you walk in, everyone stares at you like you killed someone.
  5. The hardest part about having a vivid imagination is finding enough things to climb on to avoid all the frickin’ lava on the floor!
  6. How funny is it when you’re telling somebody a made-up story and someone says “Oh yeah I heard about that”?
  7. Shout out to loud sneezers. What the hell was that? Did you just get shot?
  8. Sorry you remember meeting me but I don’t remember you. Be less boring.
  9. When getting to know someone make sure you find out if their ‘volunteer work’ isn’t really community service.
  10. There’s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
  11. Kiss her in the middle of her sentence so you don’t have to hear what she’s talking about.
  12. No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
  13. If you love something let it go but make sure one of your close friends is still friends with it on Facebook so you can stalk it.
  14. Sometimes waking up means the best part of your day is over.
  15. I’ve spent at least 15% of my life pulling a chain & trying to figure out if the ceiling fan is speeding up or slowing down.
  16. So. I don’t see you for months and now you pop up and expect me to take care of you?? OK, fine. I’ll start up the mower….stupid grass.
  17. Irony = Someone posting a status about how broke they are and at the bottom of their post it says: 8 minutes ago via iPad
  18. Don’t be stupid, if their ex is still calling its because they’re still getting an answer.
  19. Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always write: ‘last warning, you have a week to get the money together.’
  20. My screensaver is a screenshot of a bunch of spreadsheets so my boss doesn’t notice when I haven’t moved my mouse in an hour.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Prairie Dog too fat to get out of his hole… 

Poor guy needs to lay off the french fries.

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