Make Monday fun for someone, share one of these…
20 Great Facebook Statuses:
- “You can’t sleep either?” Says a voice from under your bed.
- My house has really let itself go.
- That grass that you think is greener. They use bullshit for fertilizer. Think about that before you jump the fence.
- A 2.0 student can know more than a 4.0 student. Grades don’t determine intelligence, they test obedience.
- Life should be more like Hockey. If somebody pisses you off, you beat the shit out of them, then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes.
- Me: do your homework
- Do you ever bring your pet up to a mirror and you are just like
“that is you”
- We all have our bridges. We’re either crossing them, burning them or jumping off of them.
- In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. In the middle of opportunity lies me, taking a nap.
- “A party without cake is just a meeting.” – Julia Child
- People are fake,
Pizza is real.
- Thanks to the words “dude”, “bro”, and “man”, I haven’t said my best friends name in 10 years.
- *regrets something I said 4 years ago*
- Pretty sure I’m meant to be a weekend person. The lifestyle suits me.
- Cop: Are you on drugs? Me: Why would I sit on drugs? Cop: Have you taken any? Me: Taken them where? Cop: I meant used drugs Me: I prefer new
- It’s not that I don’t like you…It’s just that my enthusiasm for your continued existence seems to diminish every time we see each other.
- At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
- I’m off to bed. For those of you who wish to add a touch of authenticity to your fantasies, the sheets are pale blue…
- Anger is a valuable tool. Nothing has done more to change this world for the better than someone who is pissed off at the way things are.
- Just blew the sugar off my donut… Dieting is hard!
Sometimes you miss the dog more than them.
Bro Mime’s a Typewriter and it’s awesome..
Ok, now that was ridiculous! Where do people even come up with this stuff? LOL!