Got Your Ear, Happy Times, and Brainy Status Posts

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Brainy Facebook Status Posts:

  1. I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
  2. My internet works super fast only when I’m about to sleep and they ask me the reason for insomnia.
  3. I hate when I spend the extra money to buy organic vegetables only to get home and find out that I bought REGULAR donuts.
  4. When a two year old hands you their ringing toy phone, no matter how badass you think you are, you answer it.
  5. Pizza doesn’t ask questions. Pizza understands.
  6. I find myself drawn to people that are intelligent and funny…and a little perverted.
  7. Being an adult is like a “choose your own adventure” book. But every option sounds terrible.
  8. I live every day like its Taco Tuesday.
  9. I Googled, “Who gives a shit?” and I was not in the search results.
  10. I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
  11. I’m 100% done with today and about 42% done with tomorrow.
  12. Do you even lift…your hands to the heavens in praise of our lord and savior bro?
  13. Am I the only one who thinks the Pringles guy and Monopoly guy are related?
  14. Only two days of your life are less than 24 hours long.
  15. Looks don’t matter to me if you’re attractive.
  16. No matter how old, rich, or famous you get; you’re never too good for grilled cheese and a juice box.
  17. I wish I loved anything as much as short guys love being cops.
  18. I make the other half of the Oreo watch.
  19. One time I put my phone in my pocket and didn’t take it out for like almost 5 minutes.
  20. As you take another breath, someone takes their last. Stop complaining; appreciate life.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Little Boy Devastated as Dad Takes His Ear:

Poor kid, thinks the game is real 🙂 but, that’s what makes it cute.

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